I don't want to die
I just want to sleep forever
I've got a dark sense of humor
But a darker sense of pain
If I'm to burn in the sunlight
I'd rather drown in the rain
I've got a girl who says she loves me
But I don't care if she does
Because it’s easier to settle for despair than to love
But we're going out for dinner
Where we'll feast on ourselves
And talk about whatever makes us feel like we're well
And If she can make me feel so bad, then maybe I was never meant to feel okay
And if she can hold her thoughts inside, then maybe I can hole up til the day it rains
Because the pain is not yours until you give it a name
And I have called mine on the telephone every single day
And it tells me to be free
In a hospice no one hears you
When you say you want to live
Until you dress up in the bedsheets
Like a ghost who can’t forgive
If I’m to die tonight, they’d better dress me up in white
And let me sing
And the pills inside my body
Make me feel like I’m a temple
Where the hopeless come to worship
But they only find the devil
If I’m lucky all the times I used to pray
Will make him go away
And if that can make me feel all right, then maybe I was never meant to feel okay
And if he can hold himself inside, then maybe I can hole up til the day it rains
I’m angry at a force that
I cannot assign a face
Because it follows me through hallways
And every single place
That I think I have found peace
Is just another that I’m sure to forsake
Because the peace is not yours until you give it a place
And I have showed mine to the woman who gave me the pain
And she tells me to be free
I never will be free
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